Anyone have a chill pill I could borrow?

So, I’m stressing. I’m awake most nights dreaming of what people’s faces will look like when they open up our wedding invitations. Will they see all the work that went into it? Will they notice the color change from one line to another? Probably not, and yet, I am consumed with these thoughts.

Will the guests notice the varying shades of purples in the centerpieces? Will they care that I opted for a dried flower bouquet instead of fresh? Does this make me look cheap? Will they say that my dress was made for me? or will they think “she could’ve done better”. At the end of the night after everyone has said, “it was beautiful, thank you , everything was lovely,” will they head back to their cars and start discussing the details they didn’t like, or didn’t quite understand?

I know that I can’t please everyone. I know that my guests will be fed, be able to hear themselves over the music, be able to dance, and drink to their hearts content. Which are the major things. What I really want is a conversation wedding. No, not like a wedding they’ll talk about for years to come. Conversation, as in a big “get-together”. Where everyone chats and has a glass of wine with new family members. I’m tired of the big dance party wedding scene. It was never my deal, and luckily I fell in love with someone who shares the same hatred for Katy Perry and Flo-Rida  as me (is that even how you spell it?)..  We want a laid back, casual conversation wedding. Everyone we love in one room, just “hanging out” with awesome music near the dance floor for those who want to dance with me to Billy Idol and Blondie.  :)

I keep telling myself that we are on the right track, but sometimes when pen hits paper, I feel otherwise! This is going to sound stupid, but I never realized how much a wedding can really stress a person out. I thought I could be stronger than this party. I’ve heard people say that they hated the planning process, and were tempted to elope. I really didn’t want that to be me! I’ve been trying really hard to remain calm, yet focused, throughout this crazy planning process.

Well, it turns out that I am even more insane then I thought. Being an insecure perfectionist is hard enough, but I must now plan a wedding for 120 people. It’s a wedding to celebrate Ian and I, yes, but everywhere I turn, it always comes back to the guests. Yes, people are traveling far. Yes, people are bringing some sort of gift. Of course I want them to have a good time. Can we accomplish this without Lady Gaga, gold chandeliers, silver bells, and a horse and carriage? I sure as hell hope so. And that’s what we’re trying for.

This is my big ol’ list of Done, Must Do, and Where the Heck Do I Start:

  • Got my Dress! I have a 2nd alterations appointment aug 2nd
  • Shoes- I bought one pair and then had second thoughts. So bought another pair. Second pair was from a scam company…. luckily i got my refund. 1st shoes were meant to be I guess.
  • Reception venue- booked… now we need to decorate
  • Ceremony Location- Church booked.. we just need to have another meeting with the priest and choose our readings/readers.
  • We got our invites printed- Vistaprint was okay. I designed them, so I’m being overly sensitive about them.
  • I began assembling the centerpieces (but i still need some major components). I was up until 1am last night folding paper flowers….
  • I figured out for the most part how I want my hair and Makeup (but that changes daily)
  • Got a makeup artist at least… makeup trial Aug 1st
  • Got the RSVPs- they came out well. I’m glad something worked out!
  • I have addressed 90% of the envelopes.. and then I ran out of envelopes! (typewriters are very unforgiving…)
  • the bridesmaid dresses are ordered and 2 out of the 3 have arrived!
  • I bought fabric and embellishments for my veil (but i don’t know what kind of veil i want anymore!)
  • we had our engagement photoshoot/ photographer interview – we still need to decide if she’ll be shooting out wedding or not
  •  Caterer -DONE, we had our tasting are are SO pleased! He’s making the cake too… so that’s helpful
  •  I have ideas about ceremony decor, and bouquets…. but nothing has been made/ordered
  • we ordered linens for the tables (napkins, tablecovers).. fingers crossed that they look good when they arrive..
  • Assembled most of the favors.. needs more work!
  • Called a few limo places… Had them explain to me why I need something bigger and more grand with a red carpet and champagne toast. Just get me to the darn church. that’s all i really want! Sigh….

And at this point the “wedding books” tell me I should have A LOT more done. Not much is done really. My dress is being altered, most of our decor is in some state of assembly, and our invites won’t go out until next week. Our guest list isn’t even really finalized!

So there you have it. This is what I’ve been up to. We have vacation next week.. I’m pretty sure I’ll be bringing some of my wedding stress to Massachusetts, but I’m going to try to keep it to a carry-on size.

If you read all of this, thank you. I was writing it just for you.  :)

P.S.- If I sound whiny, it’s because I am. It’s 9am, and I need to eat my greek yogurt.

5 thoughts on “Anyone have a chill pill I could borrow?

  1. Ugh – I remember wedding planning not being nearly as fun as I dreamed. Try not to get TOO overwhelmed! I could totally see you rocking a cool birdcage veil – or, depending on the style of your dress, you could go the other direction a do a very dramatic mantilla. Adam and I didn’t have a limo at all, but our ceremony & reception were in the same place, so I guess that’s different. I want to see what your invitations look like – and your engagement pics!

  2. I bet it felt good to get this all out. I still maintain what I’ve been saying from the beginning: this is YOUR wedding, not your guests’. And no one is going to judge you. I know it’s stressful, but you only get to do this once. Enjoy it while it lasts. I’m here if you need to vent!

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